Confession time- I’m glad that 2014 is over. 2014 was not my year. It’s taken me until December to really get clear on what happened and to pull myself out of it.
Somewhere back in the spring, I sort of fell off the happiness/contentment carousel and spent most of the year trying to get back on. I wasn’t sure why I was blogging, why I was writing, why I was designing, why I wanted to do anything, at all. I felt really low. I didn’t feel like I was good at anything. No matter where I looked, other people were doing things better, faster, making it all look easier…. and I found everything (getting up in the morning, trying to get excited or even vaguely interested about a new project, or even taking a shower) difficult. I would work on projects, but the motivation to take photos or to blog about it had left me, and many of them are still not even up or are unphotographed entirely. It’s a hard thing to talk about, and it was a hard thing to eventually realize that I was depressed and needed some help to reorient myself. I started working with a life coach who helped me get some perspective and gave me exercises and assignments to help me see more clearly, and I was lucky enough that the coaching, and some really good books, helped me get back on track. The life coaching experience was really interesting- I actually had a life coach who lived in California, and we did it all by Skype calls and email. Ah, modern technology! if anyone is interested in talking to me more about that, please feel free to email me directly.
I like to think that in the not-too-distant future, I’ll look back on 2014 and see it as a year that helped change and shape me into a better version of myself. Already I feel more energetic, more excited, and more tuned into myself than I’ve felt in a long time. I’m excited to turn the page and start fresh- I’m not big on new year’s resolutions, but I’m feeling like 2015 is going to be a year where I get clarity on how to be my real self.
As for knitting, I completed 16 FOs (two of them still need their own FO blog posts, but there are sneak peeks below), and designed 3 new patterns. I didn’t live up to my goals set out a year ago, but all things considered, I’m going to be kind to myself and just get over it.
I wanted to pinpoint which was my favourite FO this year, but looking at them, I’m really quite happy with most of them- I feel like the projects I chose this year were really my style. Considering that one of the things I wanted to do was choose patterns that were a better reflection of what I actually wear, I think I did really well in that department. And in the first few months of the year, I did design 3 patterns:
Irisa Cowl (a free pattern!), and Causerie Hat and Mitts, and the Laramidia shawl were both part of the Tanis Fiber Arts Year in Colour Club 2014 exclusive patterns (and if you are interested in the 2015 club, there is a pattern-only option, too!) but as 2014 is now over, they will soon be available for individual purchase.
So, 2015 Goals. Each year, I set out a general number of FOs I want to achieve, and number of new patterns I want to design. This year, I’m not doing that. This year, my goal is to knit things that I really want to knit, design the things I really want to design, and just feel good about what I’ve accomplished, and not feel guilty about what I didn’t. Also, to start using eye cream, and to get moving with my new Fitbit One.
I’m going to keep it simple, and do what feels right for me in 2015. What about you guys? What are your goals for 2015?